What is ';attachment parenting';?

I've heard this term a couple of times, and I am wondering about this. It seems to be a method of parenting. Do any of you know what this is? Do you practice it? If you can explain to the best of your knowledge what attacment parenting is and how it has worked for you, that would be great! Thanks so much!What is ';attachment parenting';?
My personal view is letting your baby lead in their own development.





My son weaned on his terms. He eats when he's hungry, sleeps when he's tired, and since I stay home with him we follow his schedule rather than me making a schedule for him to follow.


He's 17 months old and still sleeps in bed with me. I would still be nursing him if he wanted to, but he chose to ween at 12 months. He wears cloth diapers, he has 2 potties and he will use them when he shows an interest in them.


He didn't use the stroller until he was close to a year old, before that he went in a carrier. He saw other kids in strollers, and we offered it to him every time we went out, and he eventually jumped right in and now loves it. (my parents were trying to push me into forcing him to sit in it).





For years parents were told that it's wrong to let their kids be left handed, and it has to be corrected early on. Now we know that it's best to let the kids decide for themselves. I believe that the same goes for many other aspects of growth and development.





Another example is letting my son eat what he wants without forcing him to have what the rest of us are having. Kids and babies have a natural instinct about things that us adults have been trained to ignore. My son always refused eggs and products with eggs in them. It took me a while to figure out that he was refusing it for a reason. If I had forced my son to eat scrambled eggs like some of me relatives did with their kids, I could have killed him, he's severely allergic.


These things sometimes make parenting a little bit harder, but isn't the hard road usually the one with the best outcome?





There are so many different aspects of AP. I think the key is you and your baby choosing what's right for you, and never letting anyone tell you that it should be different.What is ';attachment parenting';?
WHAT ATTACHMENT PARENTING IS 鈥揟HE 7 BABY B'S


Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents.





7 ATTACHMENT TOOLS: THE BABY B'S


1. Birth bonding


The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, caregiving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture (see Bonding)


';What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?';





Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute ';critical period'; or a ';now-or-never'; relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the parent- infant relationship a headstart. (See ';Birth Bonding';)





2. Breastfeeding


Breastfeeding is an exercise in babyreading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby's cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breastmilk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.


3. Babywearing


A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Babywearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity. (Click here for more information on Babywearing)


4. Bedding close to baby


Wherever all family members get the best night's sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.


5. Belief in the language value of your baby's cry


A baby's cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby's cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby's needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate. (See Crying and Cry it Out)


6. Beware of baby trainers


Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This ';convenience'; parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.


7. Balance


In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it's easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby 鈥?knowing when to say ';yes'; and when to say ';no,'; and having the wisdom to say ';yes'; to yourself when you need help.


MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT PARENTING


AP is a starter style. There may be medical or family circumstances why you are unable to practice all of these baby B's. Attachment parenting implies first opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby, and eventually you will develop the wisdom on how to make on-the-spot decisions on what works best for both you and your baby. Do the best you can with the resources you have 鈥?that's all your child will ever expect of you. These baby B's help parents and baby get off to the right start. Use these as starter tips to work out your own parenting style 鈥?one that fits the individual needs of your child and your family. Attachment parenting helps you develop your own personal parenting style.


AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby, and the baby B's of attachment parenting help. Once connected, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit 鈥?the little word that so economically describes the relationship between parent and baby.


AP is responsive parenting. By becoming sensitive to the cues of your infant, you learn to read your baby's level of need. Because baby trusts that his needs will be met and his language listened to, the infant trusts in his ability to give cues. As a result, baby becomes a better cue-giver, parents become better cue-readers, and the whole parent-child communication network becomes easier.


AP is a tool. Tools are things you use to complete a job. The better the tools, the easier and the better you can do the job. Notice we use the term ';tools'; rather than ';steps.'; With tools you can pick and choose which of those fit your personal parent-child relationship. Steps imply that you have to use all the steps to get the job done. Think of attachment parenting as connecting tools, interactions with your infant that help you and your child get connected. Once connected, the whole parent-child relationship (discipline, healthcare, and plain old having fun with your child) becomes more natural and enjoyable. Consider AP a discipline tool. The better you know your child, the more your child trusts you, and the more effective your discipline will be. You will find it easier to discipline your child and your child will be easier to discipline.
Dr Sears is a big proponent of attachment parenting. check this out on his website: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t13030鈥?/a>


I read a couple of different books on parenting, and eventually did what I felt was natural and tried to be consistent. I think what ever you choose will be based on your disposition and your child's disposition and what works both for the two of you.


Good luck
Attachment parenting is very ';in'; these days. I chose this method myself. It is a method of basically following your baby's cues and giving them what they need. You have to be careful though, because once you start, it's hard to stop. I co-slept with my baby since birth, and breastfed her on demand. (Still do, and she's over a year old). We finally trained her to sleep in her crib at around 6 months old, but I still nurse her to sleep.





You can look it up and read books about it. Check Amazon.com.