What is the difference b/n parenting in The USA and Japan?

I don't know anything about the parenting styles of the USA, except for what I have read online at parenting websites, but I do know that there are some very obvious differences between generally Western style parenting and Japanese parenting.





1.) Co-sleeping. For most Japanese parents that I have spoken to, the concept of putting a pre-schooler in their own bed, and even in their own room is pretty disturbing. I have an American friend who is married to a Japanese woman, and they have a one-year old boy. The co-sleeping matter is a big source of contention between them.





2.) Working Moms. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of working Japanese mothers, but there is also a LOT of subtle pressure to quit your job and be a stay at home mom. I'm not sure about other professions, but teachers get sankyu (maternity leave: 8weeks) and ikukyu (child raising leave: about 1 year) before they have to return to work. As a assistant teacher I get no ikukyu, so my daughter was in nursery school from 2 months old, and almost all of the other kids were at least a year older than her.





Those are the two major issues I can think of off the top of my head, but if you have any other specific issues you want to explore, I can always ask my co-workers about their opinions for you. Just drop me an e-mail.





Edit: Just to comment on what Rabbityama said about disciplining of children. The reason that I have been told that Japanese kids are allowed to run rampant in public is because disciplining them in public would 'create a scene'. Instead the kids are told off once they get home. I've actually seen this in action when I was watching some students while there were parent-teacher conferences going on. One mother came to pick up her kid and you could see from her expression that she was fuming. The kid asked, ';So?'; and her only reply was ';Not here.';What is the difference b/n parenting in The USA and Japan?
I can think of a couple of other differences:


1) By the time I was a teenager (in Canada, pretty much the same as the USA, I think), I was doing my own laundry, cooking my own food whenever I wasn't going to be eating at the same time as my parents, sharing in the housework, etc. In Japan, mothers usually do all this stuff for their children -- even when the children are over 30 and still living at home (which is common)! The children are supposed to be focussed on their studies / work. Even working mothers are expected to do a lot of this stuff, although some of it may also be passed on to the grandparents (see below). Yeah, theoretically it could be a stay-at-home father, but I haven't encountered one yet.


2) Grandparents and other non-immediate family members take a much greater role in parenting in Japan. Daycare still isn't too common and paid babysitting is virtually unheard of.





In some ways, Japanese parents also seem really lax (for example, you wouldn't believe how many parents you see carrying/walking around with small children well after midnight in Japan, or how many kindergarten-aged children ride the train to %26amp; from school alone). But Western parents often seem pretty negligent in other ways. I guess that depends mainly on individual parenting style.What is the difference b/n parenting in The USA and Japan?
I think American parents teach their children how to properly behave faster than Japanese parents. I've heard it has something to do with the ';culture of cute'; in Japan (a ';who would want to discipline an adorable little child?'; sort of attitude). Whatever the reason, Japanese children get away with being really obnoxious more often than a child in America would. It's quite noticeable in restaurants. I won't say that someones kid has ruined my ';dining experience';, but numerous times it happens when a kid is running around, being noisy, peeping in on other guests, dumping food/beverages on the floor, etc. and the parents don't do anything. NOBODY does much of anything. They usually pretend not to notice for as long as they possibly can... These things can really bother me.





Yes, when it comes to discipline, it seems that it is more often lacking in Japan.





I should note that this behavior is by no means RAMPANT, but it is significantly more common in Japan than in America. There are plenty of Japanese parents who DO keep their children under control.





On the other hand, I think Japanese kids often remain innocent longer, and the lack of discipline could possibly contribute to that. Discipline is an early form of socialization; the earliest preparations for behaving as a proper member of society (aka: an adult). The ';cute'; factor can keep them innocent longer, as well, because they are treated more delicately.