ie teach so they don't make the same mistakes but then theres the whole thought of we are what we are from learning from our mistakes and growing and becoming a better person as a result ie its made us strongerParenting, learning from your mistakes, do we let our children make the same mistakes or do we teach them not?
We always want better for our children then we ourselves had.Parenting, learning from your mistakes, do we let our children make the same mistakes or do we teach them not?
There are plenty of mistakes to go around.
Of course you should try to teach your children what you know.
But, even now, knowing everything you know, you are likely to make a new mistake, anyway, right? Either because the lesson didn't quite set with you, or because you're in a new situation.
Even if you teach your child everything you know, s/he's likely to need to experience things themselves, in some situations, to get the lesson to have meaning for them -and- s/he's likely to make new mistakes that you never even thought of.
I think the most important thing to teach our children is that mistakes are for learning.
Don't worry - they'll make plenty of mistakes of their own that you never thought of and will have to deal with!
i HOPE my son dosen't make the same mistakes i did. Heck no!! i will deffinately teach my son the opposite from the way i was.
I have two children aged thirteen and nine. We have tried hard to avoid them having the problems/ mistakes that we had as children but have almost ended up going to the opposite extreme. Both my husband and I were academic but lonely at school so we did our best to ensure our children made friends easily. The trouble is that my thirteen year old is now failing school tests which should be easy as she is spending too much time socialising and not enough studying.
How do you get the balance?
Wisdom comes from hindsight and experience, but you don't have to always put your hand into the fire to know its hot.
I think it is important to make allowance for some mistakes, but to prepare my children to know how to see danger. No one ever died from a broken arm when falling off a skateboard, but there is danger when a total stranger asks you to get into his car. It requires a lot of patience and tact.
It depends on the severity of the concequences and the age of the child. No matter how much we may try to steer our kids away from making some of the same mistakes we made, they will still make some of the same mistakes. Natural consequences and making your own mistakes can be the best teacher. As parents, when that happens, the worse thing we can so is say ';I told you so';. The best thing to do is be there for support so they know they can depend and trust you more, and just maybe, the next time they will listen. It all comes down to kids taking responsibility for their behavior. Well, this seems to be working for me. Every parent and every child is different.
teach them to ''''think for themselves'''. that way they will make their own decisions and mistakes. they may have different things to learn than you because they are not you so what worked for you may not even work for them.
I was taught to learn from my mistakes AND other people's mistakes.
I owe a lot of who I am to the fact that I've seen the consequences for other people's behavior and decided that I didnt need to make the same mistake myself.
I've never done drugs, never smoked, rarely drink, dont get in the car with someone who has been drinking, always stayed away from abusive and controlling men, have never cheated on my husband or boyfriends prior to him, never had sex until I was with the man I married... and so on.
It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out ';gee, it sucked for that person when they did that, so I'll just NOT do that myself';
I don't think it's an issue of making mistakes. We have to teach the children 2 things:
1) As parents, we DO make mistakes
2) When we do make mistakes, we ADMIT mistakes
Children must see that in us and they will naturally learn and will also not commit the mistakes we made in the past.
You can teach them to not make mistakes but they will make mistakes anyways no matter how hard you try to teach them not to or how hard you try to protect them from life (and if you try too hard they may be too afraid to come to you for help out of a fear of disappointing you when they have gotten themselves into trouble). It is best to be a good example of what happiness is and can be and also to keep lines of communication open with them - that way you can help them to learn from their mistakes.
Teaching them is good but it won't make them perfect although hopefully it will make them better than they would have been. We all make mistakes especially when we are teenagers but it is part of life and hopefully we have good parents to be there for us when we fall.
Both things are important to growth and development - being taught by parents and by learning from our experience.
Children will make mistakes it is by human nature. You do have to teach them right from wrong and teach them to think for themselves and hope that everything you have instilled in them they take to heart. I don't see them as mistakes I see them as growing pains. I didn't regret it when I did it so why 15 years later am I going to regret.
you can only tell them your own experiences and hope they take them on board, at the end of the day you only truly learn from your own mistakes!
What kind of parent would let their kids repeat their mistakes?? I'd personally try to help my kids learn from my mistakes so they don't make the same ones I did. There does come a point in time where it's necessary for them to learn from their mistakes, but if it something like drugs, alcohol, sex as a teenager, or things to that effect then please teach them before it's too late. Some lessons parents are responsible for making sure their kids never HAVE to learn the hard way.
Life is ALL about making decisions.... Teach your children to make good decisions and weight the consequences tied to each decision... Most people make them out of rash, emotional influences instead of thinking things out... A good moral and ethical foundation is the best thing you can provide them... It will be the foundation for most of their decisions...
It is my belief to teach my 17 year old son of the big mistakes I have learned from. The small mistakes he needs to learn for himself in order to become the person he is capable to be.
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